She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
