I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize