Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
