Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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