I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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