We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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