I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
