Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry Samanthaisdead hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(516): View more from New York

she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?

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(407): View more from Florida

do you ever just like the smell of your farts?

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(847): View more from Illinois

Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Fuck now we have to have sex

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

What?

(203): View more from Connecticut

In a bet, need to win

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(916): View more from California

I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...

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(519): View more from Ontario

He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.

(604): View more from British Columbia

HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES

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(312): View more from Illinois

You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles

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(703): View more from Virginia

BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.

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(785): View more from Kansas

You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?

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