what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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