I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
