He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
