Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
