i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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