More tranny stories later!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
