this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize