If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
wow bdsm is so cute
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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