Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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