direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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