I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
