I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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