Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
