I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
