HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I have already put on my inside pants.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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