You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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