the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
