I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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