We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
