Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize