We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
