You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
