is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
