I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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