The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
