I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
