He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
