escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize