You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
