So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
