I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
