Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
