He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
