remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
