I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
