i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
