I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
