The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
