i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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