Heybabeimwearingurpanties
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
