someone owes me an orgasm
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
