No stitches, just platelets and will power
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
