i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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