he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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