I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
