NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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