Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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