so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
