So drunk its hurt
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
