how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
