Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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