Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
